-created with the help of lyricstranslations.com and wordle.net-

Now here are the results of the tattooflavoured jury:

3rd place:
G E R M A N Y
When Lena sings about her “satellite” she truly seems like one of us.
She reminds us of the girls we love to fall in love with: smart, funny, talented, confident and a little quirky.
I heard all the lesbian hints in her lyrics.
I’ve seen her breasts. (Why?)
I really like her.

She got 74%.
read why

2nd place:
R O M A N I A
At first I wasn’t sure about Ovi. But Paula Seling had me from the start.
One look at her outfit and all eyebrows need to be raised.
I loooove her energy, her attitude, her fun.
And I even learned to like her partner Ovi and to understand the irony in their performance of “playing with fire”.
They mock on heteronormativity! It’s so much fun!

They got 82%.
read why

and the WINNER is:
C R O A T I A

They’re called FEMMINEM. And they’re all cute while performing barefoot.
The heart at the end!
Okay, it’s a little corny. But in a cute way.
I can’t but love their female dancers in suits.
They also charm us with a butch-femme-reference.
(watch from 2:02!)
I even like the song!

They absolutely deserve to be our winner in 2010!

read why and/or have a look:

I’d like to add two honorable mentions:
Malta (72%)
and
Serbia (67%)

Congratulation to the winner!

Now I can’t wait for May 29th and the big finale.
Who’s gonna win this year? (my personal prediction: DENMARK)

So let’s once again worship the cult of the ESC and be sure:
Everyone is gonna have the queerest best Saturday night ever!

The only thing I like about this entry is the performance. Relaxed, playful and with a wink.
Why do they have to scare me by talking about changing it?
Btw, the song is really lame.

He is a likeable guy and from afar he could even be mistaken for a lesbian.
All the dancers are sexy with a funny twist.
So I decided to put it somewhere in the middle of my little L-scoreboard.

top lesbian line:

so i wonder, who can I turn to?
who can make these wishes and dreams come true?
and with you there beside me, loving hands to guide me
anything is possible to do

result: 31%lesbian

>>participating countries<<

And they’re gonna surprise Europe again.
Voice, emotion, appropiate performance.

Her voice is raising this song into my heart.
But admittedly it’s a bit of a depressing song.
AND…
it lacks any l-quality.

top lesbian line: (couldn’t find one)

result: 6%lesbian

>>participating countries<<

There’s a word for their song for Oslo: “unpretentious”.
And there are two words for its singer: “no charisma”
These are not the things that help anyone winning this contest.

This mid-tempo rock song straight from the eighties includes a stuffy performer and a redundant rapper.
And no lesbianity.

top lesbian line:

I want to dream I wanted to dream
but a dream with you is only a dream

result: 8%lesbian

>>participating countries<<

The message to the viewers seems to be: We don’t even want to win! (=We enter this competition for promotional purposes only!)

Instead of a song for the ESC stage they put a song for a football stadium together. It’s bland, repetative, cheap and goes nowhere. And you probably need to be drunk to feel like shouting along enjoy it.
At least it’s in french.

I’d rather have people put their heart into something and fail instead of not being capable of any heartfelt effort at all.

They didn’t even bother to provide performance footage.
Unless they come up with a big surprise on May 29th they will get the result they asked for.

But we’re here for the lesbian coefficient.
First of all football is a VERY popular sport for lesbians. So a football song like this was probably just chosen to collect our votes.
And we sure like to dance (even to a ridiculous song).
But the poor quality is a real turn-off.

top lesbian line: (couldn’t find one)

result: 19%lesbian
>>participating countries<<

Turkey will always make it to the final; often it’s well-deserved.
But this entry does neither sound nor look like a true finalist to me.
It covers BORING with some rock posing and “modern” sounds.

When the song begins I decide to like it, but then he starts to sing and I change my mind.
The chorus (and its melody) is awful and the presentation is dull. Not that my ears are bleeding, but I’m not entertained by this performance.

The category of music they would like to be in should help them with the lesbian votes. But does it really speak to our hearts?

Oh wait, the lyrics could change my mind again.
Listen closely and you will stumble over some keywords: “drama“, “I can love you more than they hate“, “no matter what they say“…

And yes, they really seem to SCREAM for GLBT points:

you could be the one in my dreams
you could be much more than you seem
anything I wanted in life
do you understand what I mean?

I can see that this could be faith
I can love you more than they hate
doesn’t matter who they will blame
we can beat them at their own game

I can see it in your eyes
it doesn’t count as a surprise
I see you dancing like a star
no matter how different we are

for all this time I’ve been loving you
don’t even know your name
for just one night, we could be the same
no matter what they say

and I feel I’m turning the page
and I feel the world is a stage
I don’t think that drama will stop
I don’t think they’ll give up the rage
but i know the world could be great
I can love you more than they hate

I still don’t like the whole thing very much.
But I must say I’m smitten with those lyrics…

result: 34%lesbian

>>participating countries<<

In 2010 Michael von der Heide is chosen to represent his home country. The song is called “il pleut de l’or” (“it’s raining gold”).

I’m afraid he will be the only officially out contestant in Oslo.
Gotta love him for that!
About his performance I like the french language, the song’s melody and I like the way it’s produced.

It raises one question: can anything be “too gay” for the average European?
The answer is NO! Just remember some of the winning songs!

Anyway, this is very, very suitable for any ninetees gay night club!

Too bad they forgot about the lesbian half of the gay community!
We’d be pleased with a little something like a certain type of background singer or a specific haircut! (Oh wait – Michael’s hair DOES look very familiar…)
As much as we love our male friends on GayNightOut we have our own identity.
And it’s not tickled by Switzerlands entry.

top lesbian line:

thanks to your perfume, I’ve found my way

result: 49%lesbian

>>participating countries<<

*sigh*

But it’s time to move on for Sweden (winner in 1974, 1984, 1991, 1999) and this year they do that with Anna Bergendahl and her song “this is my life”.
It’s also time to celebrate Swedens 50th participation.

Every year the Swedish entries are amongst my favourites. But at the end of the day it doesn’t always work out for them.
Again I like their song. A nice and melodic piece of pop music.
Easy to imagine huge amounts of commercial radio airplay.

If she works on her voice a little bit and continues to radiate sympathy this could really win many votes.

Anything lesbian?
To sum it up: confident girl, nice dress, wrong haircut.
Plus VERY lesbian lyrics.
Someone wants to do the right thing by taking a stand and being true to themselves and their lesbonism:

I go down the beating track
long the river, with an empty bag
at the end, she said to me
why are you here
with the autumn leaves?

cause this is my life, my friend
and this is my time to stand
and this is my life, my friend
and i can’t be no one else

I’m done tipping on my toes
strike an iron and untuck my soul
misty moon you’re gonna see
I’ve got you blues to get on my feet

cause this is my life, my friend
and this is my time to stand
and this is my life, my friend
and I can’t be no one else

I don’t wanna run I don’t wanna fight
I don’t wanna hide I just wanna stay for real to be me
I don’t wanna win I don’t wanna loose
I don’t wanna play
I just wanna remember ooooh my name

result: 48%lesbian

>>participating countries<<

This year it’s Daniel Diges‘ turn to represent the Iberian Kingdom.
He takes his song “algo pequeñito” (“something tiny”) to Oslo.

He is cute as hell charismatic. His song is not.
But he is a great singer and seems to actually like to be on stage presenting his song. Which makes the performance quite charming.

Daniel is no stranger to the gay community. You can’t be if you’re a part of the (Spanish) Mamma Mia! production (he plays the role of “Sky”).

It’s quite easy to read his song as a love song to another man. He wants to know if his feelings are mutual and so he asks him for a little gesture, a little sign.
How very gay.

We’re told they’re still working out a final version of their stage concept. I hope for some more lesbian potential around him. There should be enough room for some female dancers in hot suites (just ask Croatia!).

top lesbian line:

Something tiny, something very small
A tender gesture, a glance, a hug or a flower

Now try to change and other things will be arranged

result: 42%lesbian

Watch Daniel in Mamma Mia!:

>>participating countries<<

]]>